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My take on my life

~ My reactions to the world around me

My take on my life

Monthly Archives: April 2008

Finding a good man is like finding a good bra.

26 Saturday Apr 2008

Posted by Blog Administrator in life, Standing on my box!

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

bras, fit, life, men, random

Yes that is right. Finding a good man is like a good bra. Think about it. You try a lot of them on. Some are too big, some are too small. Others don’t give you enough support, others just want to squeeze your boobs. Then you find a good one. The fit feels good. There is enough support while still giving you some breathing room. Things go okay for a few weeks. Then all the sudden, wham, the underwire gives out and all the sudden you feel like you have been stabbed. It has cost you a lot, so you try and fix it, only to have it happpen again. Finally, you kick it to the curb. It feels good knowing you will never again be stabbed by that darn thing.

Eventually, you go on the hunt again. You find a good one, it’s not quite like the others you have had, but it gives you all that you need. You forgot how good it felt to be supported. The more you wear it the more comfortable it becomes. After awhile, you forget how you ever lived without it.

I know that this was a tounge-in-cheek post, but suprising how much truth there is to it, isn’t there?

Hellooo Gorgeous – Mother Nature has finally come out of hiding.

23 Wednesday Apr 2008

Posted by Blog Administrator in Contemplative thoughts, Faith & Spirituality, life

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

beauty, earth, flowers, God, life, mother nature, pink, spring, trees

Today has been the most beautiful day. The sun is shining, the sky is the most brilliant blue, and the breeze it keeping it a cool 80 degrees. It is the most perfect spring day. I adore days like this. I have taken two walks today. The trees are blooming the most beautiful pink and white and fuschia. How can you not take a minute to stop and admire what has grown before you. Its moments like this I know God exists. I know that God always exists, but in those moments, I feel it.

When I am walking to class, and I can feel the breeze on my face, and smell the air perfumed by fresh earth and flowers, I am in my own heaven. To exist with such beauty is truly a blessing.

I am who I am, no matter who you are.

23 Wednesday Apr 2008

Posted by Blog Administrator in Contemplative thoughts, Faith & Spirituality, Standing on my box!

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assumption, clique, faith, life, me, self-realization, thoughts, you

I was driving home tonight and I came to this realization. In this whole wide world, no matter who comes in or out of my life, however important or unimportant, I will always be me at the end of the day.  When I was younger I did not realize this. I thought that who your friends were, was direct influence on who you were as a person.

I  see now, that is wrong.

Each person has their own right to be free, and to do as they please within legal limits. Just because I have a friend who engages in behavior that I would not do, should not be a reflection upon me. Unfortunately because we live in the world that we do people assume if you hang out with someone then you must agree with all that they do.

If I have a friend of different a faiths, that does not make me a follower of their faith. There are times I have spent time in the company of people who drink more than what I would, does not make me a lush. Just because six beers went down their mouth doesn’t mean that it went down mine.

Too many times I have been the victim of “guilt by association”, and I am here to say that is a load of horse manure. If I go to an event and I am friendly with some of the not-so-popular people, or the people who are loud, or the people who are hosting the event, doesn’t make me a “loser”, or “obnoxious” or a “kiss up”.

Observations like this frustrate me. It is so high school junior high. Here is my message to all of those folks who make those assumptions: look beyond your walls, look beyond your immediate assumption, and don’t judge a person because of who is sitting at his/her table.

I know that at the end of the day, if someone doesn’t want to like me because of who I talk to, that is fine. I am still me, and better off without all the drama.

 

DVR: an insomniac’s best friend

22 Tuesday Apr 2008

Posted by Blog Administrator in Contemplative thoughts

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12 Angry Men, acting, Anatomy of Murder, black and white movies, Charles Dickens, DVR, Everyday Italian, films, Great Expectations, insomnia, Law and Order, Law and Order: Criminal Intent, life, Matlock, Sabrina, special effects

Tonight has been another night in which sleep has eluded me. I loathe all nighters. I always feel like crap and antsy the next day. I can drink all the sleepytime tea I want, but to no avail. Thank goodness for DVR. During the week I record all the shows I am not at home to watch. Needless to say I was able to catch up on some Matlock, Law and Order, Law and Order: Criminial Intent, Everyday Italian, and now Charles Dickens’s Great Expectations.

I love these old black and white movies. In a world of HD there is something endearing and sweet about these old films. Some of my favorite movies are in black and white. I adore 12 Angry Men, Sabrina, Anatomy of Murder, just to name a few. It is nice to watch older movies made back when they actually had to act to make a movie, rather than just relying special effects to get them through.

Not to say there aren’t a few worthwhile movies out there that are modern and include special effects, but some days it is nice to just get back to the basics.

Springtime and warmer weather

21 Monday Apr 2008

Posted by Blog Administrator in Contemplative thoughts

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

blue skies, car, life, nice day, random, road trip, thoughts

As I look outside this morning, I see that the sun is shining and it looks warmer out there than it has been in a while. I loathe the fact that I am going to have to go to work today. Days like these should not be meant for work. They are mean to be spent outside. Listening to the birds and the wind in the grass. Long ago when I was younger I used to road trips on weekends like this. Riding in the car with the windows down, looking out at the fields of green and yelllow that stretched as far as the eye could see. At the end of the field the sky seemed to touch the ground. Rolling hills of green on a two lane barely paved road stand out most predominately in my memory. Days like this, I long for that. To smell the country air, to feel the wind on my face, and to sip warm coffee from a travel mug.

To be on a road trip, going to a place that I have never been, seems like such a luxury right now. With time and gas prices being what they are, I wonder when I will have the opportunity to take such a trip again. Sadly its become cheaper to travel by air, or rail, than it has to go by car. Going those ways, you do not have the same freedom. You are so much more limited, You have to find cabs, or stay within walking distance of all you want to see and do.

Until that time comes whenever I pass a green field and a blue sky my heart will just return to my old memories.

 

Sometimes it takes a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face to get it together.

15 Tuesday Apr 2008

Posted by Blog Administrator in Contemplative thoughts

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Chuck Norris, Dad, daughter, days, death, father, hug, life, little girl, loss, love, mourning, OCD, rough days, roundhouse kick, time

That’s right, not just a roundhouse kick, not just a roundhouse kick to the face, but a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. The last few weeks for me have been to say the least, eventful. I am more than ready for the semester to be over. Assignments seem to be looming up before me. I applied and did not obtain a job that I had hoped for, and work seems to get more stressful by the day. Just in case anyone asks, no I don’t want to help you, no I don’t want to show you how to look up that article, and really your pride at being a second semester senior and not having set foot in a library does not impress me. (On that note I can’t help but think that second semester senior may be getting ready to be a second year senior, but that is just my opinion.)

In light of all this I talked to a friend of mine today. Her grandmother died. Wham. That set my rear on the floor, hard. Here I am complaining about all this little petty crap and a dear sweet girl will never again be able to hold her grandmother.

It was about this time of year, six years ago, that my father died. It was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. He died in March and I didn’t really start to grieve for him until July. He was a strong man. Six foot four, and fiercely protective of his family, I knew that when the chips were down he was always there. He and I didn’t always see eye to eye, but in the last few months of his life, we finally made our peace. It was like having the dad I always needed.

When I was small my dad said that he would not die until he knew that my brother and I could take care of ourselves. When he died, I did not understand why he was gone. Didn’t he know that I still needed him? I was still his little girl. Who would walk me down the aisle? Who was going to be there when I had a bad day? Who was going to tell me what to do when something went wrong with my car? I felt so lost. I won’t lie, somedays I still do.  It wasn’t until he was gone that I realized how much I desperetly needed him.

I dream about him sometimes. In it I always hug him. The first time I dreamt of him I hugged him at least three times. Growing up hugging my dad was not something you did. He had a job doing maintenence, and when he came home he was always too dirty. He didnt want us to get dirty. As we got older and he had left that job, it was hard to become accostomed to hugging him because for the last decade there were so many times when we couldn’t.

My father suffered from OCD. I can not imagine how hard that must of been for him. He worked at a job where germs were rampant, and yet he could not mentally stand the thought of them. Then when he came home, he felt like he couldn’t hold the most important things to him. But he did it. For a lot of years he did it. He made the sacrifice so that my brother and I could have a home, clothes, and food.

My dad died young. Yesterday would have been his 66th birthday. I miss him more than he will ever know. I go with my mom to put flowers on his grave. I know though, that he is not there. He is where I am, wherever I am. I have not seen him at all since he died. I thought maybe I would because he saw his mom. I do though sometimes smell his cologne and occasionally I will feel like someone is watching over me, protecting me. That’s him, I know it’s him. When I feel that way, all I can think is “I love you too, Dad”.

At odds with life, or just living an odd life?

15 Tuesday Apr 2008

Posted by Blog Administrator in life, school

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life, random, school, time, work

I am not really sure which statement best describes how I feel about life in this moment.  It might be both. Between going to work full-time and school part-time. I feel like the only place I am ever in for any length of time is my car. Hmm full time in a vehicle that produces a phenomenon called “road rage”. That’s healthy.

Today was an especially difficult day. I had to be at work late because I had to do statistics for a colleague that could only be complete at 10pm. I would love to work a job that would let me be home before prime time television starts. As it is, it is dark and cold when I go to school at 7am if I have to be there early. It’s dark when I finally get home at almost eleven at night. I am ready for that insane schedule to stop. I really can’t take another semester of these hours. I have been in school for what seems like forever. I need a break!

Hard work is one thing, but all work and no play makes Jane a psycho girl. Tonight when I came in I was ready to pull my hair out. Thank god for blogging. It is a terrific way to unwind.

Trading Integrity for the Internet

10 Thursday Apr 2008

Posted by Blog Administrator in Standing on my box!

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beating, life, MySpace, teenagers, Victoria Lindsay, videos, YouTube

The internet reminds me of a yin yang. Equal parts light and dark, dark in light, light in dark. We can find directions, food, clothes, and even become a celebrity. That was the hope of six young girls in Florida who lured a 17 year old girl to a house to savagely beat her, all in the goal to have it air on YouTube and MySpace.

It makes me sick. Sick at the thought that these girls thought that was an acceptable or a “cool” thing to do. Beating someone is never cool, fun, or a thrill. Its a potentially deadly exercise with serious legal consequences. Personally I hope these girls – ALL of them – get the most serious punishment possible. We need to send a message that violence, especially gang violence, is not ok, and that they will be punished should they choose to do it.

I dont know if YouTube can be held liable for this, because I am sure they have some clause in their user agreement that bans such videos, and it is up to the discretion of the user what is put on. What I want to know is will they be taking any such measures to help prevent things taking place? Maybe having some sort of moderation system in place that checkes the videos before they are downloaded? It would probably cause a waiting delay, but I would think it would be worth it. I know Victoria Lindsay would approve.

Manners and Respect – not just an archaic formality

07 Monday Apr 2008

Posted by Blog Administrator in Standing on my box!

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life, manners, respect

So its not really a two post night, the other post is just one that I had saved. It has been awhile since I have written. School has kept me busy. By the time I get home, blogging isn’t exactly on my mind. I do have some things I want to discuss though.

The first is manners. Where have they gone? Since when has not holding open doors and saying please and thank you become vogue? Ok, maybe vogue is a strong word, so how about, the norm? Frankly, is it too much to ask to say please and thank you? Telephone manners seems to have especially gone by the wayside. The other day I answered the phone with a “Hello” and I was greeted with a nasty, nasty “Whose this”? It was incredibly um, snarky? 😉 Really, who does that? You have called my home, and you respond to me like that? You called my number for crying out loud!

Another thing that I wanted to talk about is having respect when you are in another person’s home. Recently, we have had some visitors in our home. These visitors have been guests of my brother. They come into our house, with no greeting. They do not let anyone know that they are there. I come into the kitchen or go downstairs and suprise! Guests! The other thing that irritates me a bit, is the lack of hand washing that appears to go on. Who gets into a refrigerator in a home, that is not your own, without washing your hands? I wouldn’t do that in my own home, let alone in a home that is not my own. I wouldn’t just get into someone else’s refrigerator, to me that is just something you don’t do, but I know that is my own quirk.

Manners are so important. They are not a thing of the past. Is not something that is not too formal for today’s society. Manners are always in fashion.

What do you say when its been so long?

07 Monday Apr 2008

Posted by Blog Administrator in Why do people do dumb crap?

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hair, hair cut, life, salon, wet hair

Wow I was looking at my last thread and I can hardly believe its been almost a month since I have written. I have been uber busy with life and the next few weekends will be no exception. For the most part its the same old kind of busy. Work and school and trying to make sure I am wearing clean underwear. Shoot somedays just making sure I have underwear on should warrant an achievement award. Just kidding folks, I am no Britney.

 I did have my hair cut last weekend. That was real special to say the least. I have recently colored my hair. it has a distinct reddish hue to it. I am “getting used to it”. Anyhow I needed it cut and as my stylist lives quite far, I decided to branch out. Not a good idea. The last time I did that I wound up with a mullet.

 So I head over to the “salon”, lets use that term loosely shall we? The woman who cut my hair had hair the color of straw, and while I didnt touch it, 5 bucks says that’s what it felt like. It was all blond and wiry.  I set my reservations aside and I let her wash my hair and when she was done, she got up and walked over to her chair. I was left sitting there with my hair dripping and glasses in one hand, while the other hand was trying to keep the turban that my hair was wrapped in from falling out. I look over at her and she looks at me like she forgot that I was there. She proceeds to tell me how she is just used to her other customers just following her from one chair to the other. I got up and grabbed the luggage that is my purse and I set off in the direction of the other chair.

 I sat down and I was horrified. I dont know what bulbs they use, but you would think they would spring for the “natural light” ones. As it is I looked like a wet piece of frecked chalk. Not pretty. As she begins to cut my hair I being to get a faint whiff of cigarette smoke. Lovely.

I tried to make a bit of small talk but I wasn’t very successful. About a minute into the chit chat I heard a large growling moan. It wasn’t coming from me. The lady apologizes. Apparently she had been feeling queasy all day. Mmm just want I want to hear. I all of the sudden get a vision of vomit making its way down my wet hair. Between that and the smell of the smoke, I was getting a bit queasy myself. I couldn’t even relax enough to enjoy the process. About 4 minutes later, literally she pronounced herself done. My hair was begining to dry a wee bit, and as a result it started to wave up a bit. She grabs a can of white foam, squeezes some out in her hands, and for the next 10 seconds scrunches the heck out of my head and then stands back to admire her work. She then starts sweeping up. I am all like, “Are we kidding? This is done?”

Mind you this is March 1, so for all intents and purposes it was Feburary. Feburary and the woman sends me out with an almost dripping do. Who does that?

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