So its official I think I am going to lose my mind. I finished this internship on Friday. Today is Monday. This past weekend I spent doing household chores, grocery shopping, and just in general getting things cleared out and squared away. Now it’s Monday evening and I am relaxing and unwinding a bit. The problem? Mom is ready to tackle the basement. I swear it’s like she drank a six pack of energy drinks. I try and explain that I am not really hip to the idea of working down there. I am wanting to unwind and relax. This is the last time I will have this sort of free time to have as my own.
I am not saying I don’t want to get things done and be productive. Quite the contrary. I am just not trying to be a whirling dervish about it. What is the sense in having this time off if I am busting my tail? I have been looking forward to this all semester. Now that it’s here though (just in this minute) it almost seems like it would be easier to be working.
I know that part of it is that we are just two different people and that its time for me to find my own space and routine. I need to get away from that tone of voice that she has that makes my ears bleed. We have spent all weekend together and I am feeling the edgy effects of it. Don’t get me wrong, I love her, dearly, but sometimes I think that if she says one more word I am going to rip my eardrums out.
The part that is driving me batty this weekend is her saying, “Well I am waiting on you”. Finally I asked her what for? What is it about me that is precluding you from doing anything? She could never answer me. It was infuriating. Its days like these that I want to have my own space. A space where I call the shots. If I want to spend all day out, then all day I spend out. No questions asked. If I want to spend the day writing on my laptop, then so be it. I write. Thankfully she is going back to work tomorrow. Another day of us home together and I may have to haul out the Miss Clairol.