So, you will probably never read this, but I thought I would go ahead and write it anyhow. You know it’s funny I feel almost a loss at words. I almost don’t know where to begin. Words like thank you and I love you don’t seem to really match how I feel, they are strikingly inadequate.
Curtis came first, I was the surprise shortly after. You weren’t sure you were ready for me. You weren’t sure if your heart could love two babies the way you loved Curtis. Your heart grew, and I benefited. You know me better than anyone. You have seen me, the good, the bad, and the ugly. You have seen me at my strongest and know the depths of weakness.
You stood by me through bad hair cuts, bad friends and the awkward teenage years. You tried to protect me from dad, even when I was to angry to want it. You always wanted me to let the anger go and to walk away. I loved you too much to tolerate his mouth or his fists. Even at that young age, you and dad instilled in me a sense of justice and fairness, even if he didn’t always want to play by fair rules.
Then, when I was hurt, you were there to bandage and console. I know you have a lot of guilt, don’t. There is no need for it. I came out stronger. As I got older, I became less like dad and more like you. My temper has subsided, and sense usually reins it in. That is unless the injustice feels extreme, then I have yours and dads’ temper combined and it turns into a mix of anger and the need to make it better.
Making it all better. That sums up how you influence my life Mom. You make it better. You make me better. You make me see the world through more patient eyes. You calm my tendency to over-analyze. You encourage my passions and let me believe that anything is possible. You remind me that I can do more than I think I can and remind me when its time to stop.
In the most literal sense I would not be here without you. I would not be the woman I am without you. Without your guidance and unconditional love I would be lost. I certainly would not be graduating in two weeks, and I would certainly not have the abundance of opportunities for my life that I do.
I will end this post with the only two words I have, though bear in mind they are only specks of how I truly feel.
P.S. The pink – is just for you.