What is success? For as many different kinds of people, there are there are that many kinds of success. For some, it’s getting out of bed, for others its making that unnecessary extra million.
Success is a question that has been on my mind the last few days. What makes me successful? A few months ago I would have said getting A’s, working as hard as I can and getting through each day.
Today, my view-point is different.
Today, I see success as doing the best I can. My best may not always be an A. It might be *gasp* a B! A few weeks ago I had some anxiety hit, HARD. I took every measure I could to handle it, but unfortunately, a mental meltdown did occur. The stress of everything was just too much and I could not deal with it all.
This was unreal to me. How could I not deal with all of this? I have dealt with difficult things in my life before and have come out without having a total breakdown. What was different this time?
Somewhere along the way, I lost my balance. I even, I think, lost some faith. I knew I wasnt praying as much. Not that God wasn’t still my homie, I just didn’t have time. There were too many other things to think about. I shut out all things in favor of school and work. In short, I was a flamin’ hot mess. I was on fire people.
Now that I have gone through that, I can look back and say, I never want to be there again. It was awful. So how am I going to do that? Good question, and I don’t know that I have the whole answer yet.
I think it just going to start with baby steps, doing one thing at a time. Taking time to break, breathe, and for heaven’s sakes to just BE.
I am seeing a school counselor to help me get back on track. We have been meeting for a while now and she has really helped me to see the light in a lot of ways. I don’t know how I got so lucky to find her the first time out, but I did, and I am so grateful.
I am meditating. Thanks to a friend who showed me Meditation Oasis on iTunes, I am using those podcasts to help unwind, and put some cash in my emotional bank.
Does this mean I am not scared or anxious anymore? Nope. It just means I am dealing with it as I can and when I have to. Well, that’s the goal anyway. It’s hard, I won’t lie.
I can see progress. I am not waking up in the middle of a panic attack, nor am I having tremendous bouts of tears. For me, that is my success. Today, that is how I define success.